Story Telling Cafe
Share your best cup / worst cup

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Human check...which city do Greg & Lisa live in?

August 16, 2011
Posted by James Perry

This is a story about the worst cup of coffee i have ever had in my life. it was actually just this morning at work. i walked in as usual and needed a cup desperatly but then to my dismay i saw a young lady named “anonymous” making the coffee. i then knew at this point it would be a bad day, once the coffee was brewed a few of my co worked grabbed a cup and then i finally got mine but it was closer to the bottom. when i poured it and added sugar to stir the grounds already started floating to the surface. after also pickig the grounds out of my teeth i then proceeded to dump the coffee out and make a fresh pot the right way!! .. Thanks Danielle

July 4, 2011
Posted by Pamela Danby

My best cup was in high school,
when I realized the joys of silent solo late night studying;
Only the desk lamp on,
amidst my many younger sleeping siblings.
On my card table desk I had the perfect hot pot:
the round mirrored base to the double drip of my childhood.
Taster’s Choice, stirred milky with Cremora death dust & sugar
in a big old heavy creamy diner cup that fit my hand.
Never lost a wink of sleep,
and raked in those 1st hard scholarships.

Worst cup was something I blamed on the restaurant’s sour milk.
Later I realized it was internal: My meds related “change in taste” souring the milk. Yuck. Glad to be done with that.
And ever so sorry.

Little joint on Layton just West of Packard
Layton Gyros
3534 East Layton Avenue, Cudahy
Great plain coffee, great cup, great cream, great toast.

Also Aggie’s Cakes & Pastries in St Francis
1800 E Howard Ave Milwaukee
Coffee plain or fancy
Sweeten with $1 slice of wedding cake

March 6, 2006
Posted by ???????

It was my 18th birthday, oh so very many years ago. Young and foolish, I accepted Greg’s offer of a night of “becoming legal” revelry. He wanted to usher me into the world of adulthood with adult entertainments that I hadn’t yet experienced(!). He took me to see my first X-rated movie, “Last Tango in Paris,” which, much to his disappointment, was no longer X-rated. (The butter scene was NOTHING compared to what I had in mind, but I didn’t dare tell him that!) After the movie, he insisted that I partake in a cup of coffee. When I told him the smell of it made me sick, he told me, “Too bad. You’re an adult now and you have to drink coffee!” So off we trudged to the Coffee Trader on Downer Avenue, I begging for tea, soda or booze, and Greg insisting that I just “relax and enjoy it.” According to Greg, it would be easier for me if I just took it quick; I’d learn to like it with time and practice. Where had I heard that before???? Finally, the moment of truth arrived and before me appeared a cup of steaming, stinking coffee. Greg was appalled when I started shovelling sugar into the cup. That didn’t help, so I topped it off with milk after every sip. It didn’t get better and I wasn’t enjoying it. GREG FORCED NONCONSENTUAL COFFEE ON ME! He scarred me for life and I have never had another cup of the stuff since that night.
Do You Remember Who I Am?

March 3, 2006
Posted by Susan Haydock

Four shots of expresso deluged with pure spring water gets me going each morning, one morning a slid into my spot in line the hum was there I glanced over at my magician however it was the sorcerers apprentice. A trainee from who knows where I was informed Sheboygan, that explains it. The cup slid my way with a nod. My first sip was great, what a hit. Two hours later I could have fought a bout in the ring with Hillary Swank. Whew what a novice!
Next morning same concoction, no, I asked why I was looped all day, oh they had caught the apprentice using five shots no wonder it took two days to land.

August 16, 2003
Posted by Laura Canadeo

Best Cup? I don’t drink coffee....but.....I grew to simply love Italian cappuccino (con molto latte) when I traveled in Tuscany last year. Definition: a popular morning coffee with steamed milk traditionally served in a small cup. Remember, REAL Italians usually don’t drink cappuccino after ten in the morning. Worst Cup? I consider everything else I’ve ever had to be my worst cup.

July 27, 2003
Posted by Karl Sherlock

It’s taken me a while to relay this story, believe it or not, but here goes. I took a trip the the U.S.S.R. in the mid 1980s, and there are a number of photographs of me where I’m not smiling or seeming to have a good time. What they record, however, is the worst cup of coffee experience I’ve ever had. The year was 1985, and the place was a hotel room in Leningrad. In abundance that year were horror stories about American tourists with tape worms and other parasites large enough to co-star with Sigourney Weaver, and to which the local Russians were immuned by virtue of their vodka-rich Atkins diet. Therefore, we put nothing to our lips that wasn’t bottled. (Okay, I’m not taking the bait on that last comment.) We were advised to keep our mouths closed when taking showers, and not to drink ANYTHING that had ice in it. In fact, the paranoia was so widespread that we had champagne brought up to the room, just so we could rinse our mouths with something safe after brushing our teeth. Consequently, not wanting to risk the room’s water on tap, I wasn’t making maximum use out of the portable heating element and the instant coffee we brought with us. My sister struck upon the idea of using the bottled water, however. Okay, I saw the logic, sort of: it was bottled, and it did, after all, say “water” (in Russian) on the label. So, I unscrewed the cap, poured the water, dunked the heating element into the cup, and waited for the roiling boil, which was much bubblier than expected. Mind you, by now I’m just spoiling to infuse the hot water with a rounded teaspoon of Taster’s Choice and get my caffeine groove on. My sister and I clink our hotel china cups and take the first sip: an unexpected, pungent fiz, like Bon Ton seltzer water, cigarette ash, and pencil shavings. If only there were some Turbinado sugar handy. Two sips later, however, we pronounced with utter certainty the failure of our little coffee experiment, only to find that the results were to have a lasting effect. You see, the bottled water we had been using was perfectly safe, but it wasn’t regular bottled water. It was mineral water. In the Soviet Union, when they say “mineral water,” they mean “mineral water”, and not some Canada Dry equivalent of carbonated water that’s been in the same room with, say, a mineral. However, whatever minerals defined THIS bottled water, they reacted with the coffee crystals and our metal fillings to make something as potent as indigo dye--in our mouths, on our tongues, and on our teeth. We looked like the very picture of Anna Nicole’s white trash cousin, and repeated applications of Aquafresh and champagne had no effect. We simply had to wait for the naturally acidic diet of sour cabbage to brighten our smiles gradually--over the next four days. The Russians, I’m sure, would have argued that, it wasn’t the drawbacks of the mineral water, but rather the shortcomings of the instant coffee. With some hindsight, I can see the wisdom of that. If Starbucks had despoiled the world sooner, and Chernenko’s death hadn’t kept us in Leningrad a day longer, and the Cold War had never happened . . . But, what I eventually learned from this experience is that there are a million ways to become an Ugly American. For 999, 999 of those ways, Ronald Reagan can be held culpable; the remainder can be blamed on the widespread fear of some other parasite.

June 3, 2003
Posted by Loraine

Hi Greg and Lisa, this is Loraine from David Hobbs Honda, I donít drink a lot of coffee but I would have to say that my worst cup was (decaffeinated) from McDonalds, never had decaffeinated coffee until the day I accidently brought a cup from McDonalds, I thought I would choke, I have a coffee maker at home but I prefer boiling my water in a kettle, using instant coffee, (donít laugh) but I prefer carnation milk as my creamer (itís wonderful) I like to call it Loloís delight, I have so much carnation milk that you can hardly taste the coffee, (fattening but good) lol.

May 4, 2003
Posted by Uncle Bob Nelson

What swill it was.......omg...I’ll never forget it..I was stationed on a small wooden minesweeper docked in Charleson S.C. The crew was only about 25/30 men. Everyone stood watches on a small ship, even the Captain. One night about 2A.M. while on gangway watch at the pier, I checked out the insides of our steam heated coffee maker..Lo and behold,inside was a tar like coating of coffee oils....(at least 1/8 inch thick) from months and months past. You can imagine what the end result was----pure swill for the pigs. Luckily, I knew where there was a can of lye.... which I added to the water and proceeded to brew it. Ack...what crap...all kinds of gunky stuff came out through the spout.. I rinsed it twice...checking the interior for cleanliness.....there was a pure metal appearance that seemed clean now..I told no one just in case the lye destroyed the coffee maker. After that... the coffee was not great but definitely much better with only a touch of a metalic taste to it. I’ll always remember that night watch on the deck gangway!! I hav another swill coffee story which I’m suffering through at the present time......At our new golf club restaurant.... the coffee is terrible...Let me explain....first of all they have these pure glass cups that sit in an air-conditioned area.....cooling their hineys off in the breeze, the coffee is transported from the kitchen to one of those coffee pitchers on a heater... where it may sit from 9AM to luncheon hour when you may be the lucky one to get it. The coffee is not hot, they pour it into a frigid glass cup and serve you luke warm 30 seconds it is cooled like it was only heated in the sunshine(maybe). This is something I have never heard of in my entire life. They do not use ground coffee here, but purchase a coffee syrup( similar to the way CocaCola syrup is used at a Coke dispenser. This brew is so atrocious that it almost removes the skin from your tongue and kills any taste buds you may have for coffee for at least a day. This crap is so strong it’s unbelievable. They seem to like to hide the cream and sugar and sometimes only serve 2% milk with it....I don’t know the in’s and outs of how coffee is made using coffee syrup but it is bad stuff,do not order coffee at our golf club restaurant. My best coffee is any of the coffee shops in gambling casinos in Reno..the coffee is almost perfect. They know what people want and like in Reno concerning COFFEE.

May 2, 2003
Posted by Dan Canadeo

Bitter, bad-tasting, just plain nasty. That is the way I felt about coffee most of my life. Then circumstances in my life changed. Taking a job which required that I rise at about 4:00 AM, and living just down the road from a Dunkin’ Donuts(Springdale Road and Moreland Boulevard in Waukesha)...Well, you can guess what happened. I had that first cup on a cold spring morning before my first day on the new job .(with cream--my apologies to the late Journal-Sentinel Outdoor writer Jay Reed who drank his coffee black, as his colleague, Bob Riepenhoff wrote in an article which appeared in the Sunday paper after Reed passed away.) And the rest as they say is coffee...I mean... history. The store changed names from Dunkin’ Donuts to America’s Bakery and then to its current name of Donuts Plus, yet, it still has the same great coffee. My worst cup is probably a tie between the coffee at the Clark gas station at Cleveland and Moorland in New Berlin and the coffee at a gas station at Ridge Road and Lombardi Avenue in Green Bay, the name of which I do not remember...maybe a slight edge to the Green Bay gas station. That stuff was bad. I wish I could find some humor in that but there is nothing funny about bad coffee.

April 10, 2003
Posted by Lisa Postles

My best cup is any restaurant that serves Torke coffee. In Milwaukee, that would be Heinemann’s restaurants. In Fond du Lac, it would be Schreiner’s restaurant-a must stop for anyone taking Hwy 45 to Green Bay. One pound and 3 pound cans of Torke can be purchased at Sentry or Sendik’s. The Kaul Mart gas station on Silver Spring Drive and Lydell Ave. in Whitefish Bay also serves good gas station in a styrofoam cup. My worst cup is in 2 places. One of which is mercifully out of business. That is a good thing, because this cafe served some of the worst coffee I have ever tasted. My other worst cup is served at a popular restaurant in the 3rd ward. I do not want to reveal its name for fear of reprisals. Greg, Natalie and Karl, I hope this is funny enough.

April 7, 2003
Posted by Mickey Nelson

Worst cup of coffee - Starbucks!!! Too, too strong. April 7, 2003 I like Dunkin’ Donuts - has enough, but not too much ommph! I honestly don’t what my “best” cup of coffee is. I make coffee everyday, Melita style and I think it is good, but then I’m prejudiced! PS. I like chai every once in awhile for a little change and also it is a good way to get more milk down my gullet!

March 23, 2003
Posted by Rhoda Penmark

My best and worst cup? I remember as though it were yesterday...(this is where we go into a flashback fantasy sequence, you know, like they do on T.V.). Ah yes....Oddly, my best cup and worst cup come from the very same source: the workplace. The arrangement works like this: there is an office coffee pot. About 3 or 4 of us employees are coffee drinkers. We each take turns buying a can/bag of coffee. We also rotate the morning task of coffee preparation. This is where the trouble ensues. About a year ago, the individual who made the absolute worst cup of coffee in my 34.3 years of life on this planet earth left the company. But for 3 years we suffered with a liquid brew never to be forgotten. Not only was it offensive to my taste buds but each morning I felt as though I had been assaulted. It was strong beyond belief. It was like liquid tar & motor oil mixed with a dash of potting soil, a very special blend indeed. Needless to say, there were many volunteers to make the morning pot. We would jump out of our chairs to try to beat her to the punch and make it ourselves but on many days our efforts were of little avail. The story does have a happy ending, however. Luckily, I work in an office with excruciatingly high turn-over. This fact brought us our heavy hitter. This java junky saw the toxic nightmare we had been ingesting, rolled his eyes, and insisted on bringing in his own coffee from home. Long-story-short: he has us absolutely addicted to Eight O’clock Hazelnut Whole Bean. It’s nothing fancy, only about $6.00 for 2 lbs. but my God does this guy know how to make coffee. Whoever thought a rarely washed carafe contaminated with infecting organisms could produce such a fine hot beverage? I had no idea water from the employee mens room faucet could taste so good. I kid-you-not, this is the best cup I ever had.